This episode tackles the fairly complicated topic of caring about your goals. It would seem that caring about your results would be important, but we also discuss the darker side of caring too much, that you prevent yourself from ever reaching the goal.
We start with the idea of creating a goal. We cover not just the importance of having a goal, but of understanding why that goal exists. Angie explain the concept of the five whys and how there is a core value underlying all of you major life choices.
I try to suggest that my deeper why behind racing a marathon is to gain back a sense of control over my body following a bout of seizures back in 2017. Angie completely calls me out on the fact that there is no such thing as control.
We swing back on topic with step two: figuring out your plan to reach the goal. This is when the caring must come into play. The plan will not be easy. Striving for any major goal shouldn’t be an easy road. You must stick to the plan while understanding that small adjustments based on real life can be made.
The plan should take you into the mentally tricky world of being the person that has already achieved the goal. Basically, you should think of the actions that someone who has already accomplished your goal would take on a daily basis and then live that life. When this is done correctly, step three becomes easier.
Step three is the portion where you fully accept that the details of the results do not matter. You have been spending so much time being the person that has already had the results, that finally crossing the finish line, or hitting a certain race time becomes less and less important.
By focusing your efforts or caring about the process and appreciating the journey, you can reach a point where the finish line and goal are just stepping stones to your next goal.
Without the mindshift of step three, you can fall into a couple of traps. First, the goal can create extra stress and pressure which will likely lead to choking. Second the goal can become so important that if and when you do reach the goal, and your life does not change, it can be a major emotional letdown.
So there you have it, you need to care and not care at the same time. Enjoy the journey. Be grateful for the good days and the bad days. Transform your life. The goal will come, just not in the perfectly controlled manner you might like.
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