AUDIO ONLY - 316: "I'll try"
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[00:00:00] Angie: You're listening to the real life runners podcast, episode number 315
All right. So today we are gonna be talking about commitment. And we're gonna specifically talking, be talking about the importance of the words and the phrases that we use to talk to ourselves. And you guys know that we love diving into all these types of nuances here on the podcast. And the one that's kind of come up recently in some of our coaching calls with our clients.
Um, and this is something that we see kind of. It's like a common theme and we like to use common themes that we're seen in our podcast because [00:01:00] we think that if, if several people, um, are. Kind of encountering this kind of issue when we're seeing the same themes in our coaching. There's probably a lot of other people out there that are struggling with this too.
So the one phrase that we're kind of going to dive a little bit deeper into today is I'll give it a try.
[00:01:21] Kevin: Yeah, it's a big one. It happens also as we're, we're starting to get some summer practice for our cross-country team. Mm-hmm. People talking about trying to reach goals and trying to, to strive for things.
So
[00:01:31] Angie: specifically the word try. Yeah. That we really want to dig into today, because how many of you have kind of put out a goal there and thought to yourself, I'll give it a try, or I'll give it a shot, or I'll try my best, because oftentimes these phrases can sound. Positive. Oh, yeah. Right. Sounds like we're really going for it.
Yeah. Like they can ex like, they sound like we're motivated. Like I'm, I'm gonna do my best or I'm gonna try my best, not do my best, I'm gonna try my best. [00:02:00] Mm-hmm. The very, very specific difference that we're gonna talk about today, but depending on who you are, and depending on. How that phrase makes you feel.
It could also be an excuse built right in like I tried and it didn't work out. So it's a kind of a double-sided phrase and can either help you or hurt you depending on how you use it. And the feeling that you get when you say
[00:02:25] Kevin: it. Right. And a lot of that's gonna be subconscious. Mm-hmm. So some of this podcast is gonna be like, have I used that phrase?
What did I actually mean by it? Yeah. Because you could fall on either of the sides of this thing. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you might be using it really as, as a sign of, of your like, devoted commitment to the thing. Yep. And other times it's like, yeah, you know what, I'll try, I'll try, I'll give it a, I'll
[00:02:46] Angie: give it a shot.
And I think a lot of it is that the tone of voice you use, right? Like do you go up.
[00:02:51] Kevin: I for, I mean, I guess I'll try, for some reason I'm up like three octaves off of that one. I'm not sure what I'm going
[00:02:56] Angie: for there. Yeah. So in the first part of the [00:03:00] podcast, we're gonna kind of look at the shadow side of, I'll try like, and then in the second part we'll talk about a lot of the positive aspects of it.
Yeah. Okay. But I want you to think about this because I feel like a lot of us probably haven't thought of it in this way before. Because I think that when we say, I'll try, we see that as a very positive thing. Yes. But. And in a way that can be a good thing depending on who you are and what kind of personality you have.
Because I'll give it a try. Can take pressure off of you. Yeah. And if you're the kind of person that puts a lot of pressure on yourself, that can be a good thing. Right. But if you're the kind of person that. Tends to kind of flake on your commitments. Mm-hmm. If you tend to be, um, not as committed in areas of your life where you have a, a history of not sticking to those commitments.
I, I'll give it a try. Can also be an easy out. Right. So it can. Be taking that pressure off can avoid or can lead [00:04:00] to avoiding the challenging things. Skipping the workouts or making excuses when you weren't able to do the thing. Cuz you're like, oh, well I tried to but it did, I wasn't able
[00:04:10] Kevin: to. Right.
Somebody who's so super committed that they have to like check all the boxes to do things. Yeah. Saying that they'll try, might in fact be like a little release valve on, on the pressure, but someone who. Tends to, you know, make, make sure that they are making adjustments for things. They take other things into account.
Yeah. If they don't have a more firm commitment, I try allows them to start sliding the other direction and be like, all right, I tried, but I missed Monday and Tuesday and then a thing came up on Wednesday. Maybe I'll try next week. Mm-hmm.
[00:04:41] Angie: Yeah. So it's like this built-in excuse. So I'll give it a shot.
I'll try. It could be a signal that you're not, Fully committed to the goal or fully committed to your training plan or to the process or whatever it is you're trying to achieve, because it does kind of give you that out, right? You're [00:05:00] like, oh, well I tried. Mm-hmm. Like, and it's, it's very interesting. And so we, we obviously, and when we talk about trying Yep.
We have to. Uh, play homage to your Star Wars nerdiness here, right? Yeah. I mean,
[00:05:14] Kevin: you, you can't talk about a podcast about trying to do things without quoting Yoda. Yeah. Who of course says, try not do or do not. There there is
[00:05:22] Angie: no try. Yeah. And so, when Kevin first wrote this outline, He said, try not do or do not.
And I was like, I thought the line was do or do not. There is no try. I'm
[00:05:32] Kevin: like, no. The, the line actually opens with Yoda yelling at, at Luke cuz Luke's like, he goes, do this thing again. And Luke goes, okay, I'll try. And Yoda like hits him with a stick and says, no, try not. And that's the whole thing is the way Luke had phrased it was like, all right, I guess I'll try and lift up the thing out of the swamp.
Right. And
[00:05:51] Angie: the un like the subconscious. Kind of message there was I'll try quote unquote try. Yeah. But I know I can't do it.
[00:05:59] Kevin: Yeah, I'll try. But [00:06:00] it's, it's impossible. It's impossible. Yeah. And then of course he, he tries it is impossible because in his head he'd already fully committed to it was impossible.
Mm-hmm. And that, I think is sometimes what happens when we put this phrase out of, I'll try. Yeah. It's, I'll try, but I don't think it's actually going to work. Mm-hmm. I'll try. But like there's a, there's a backend of the statement as opposed to I'm gonna do the thing. Mm-hmm. Which is, is Yoda's argument is simply just do the thing or don't do the
[00:06:29] Angie: thing.
Mm-hmm. Or do what's necessary so that you're then able to do the thing. Yeah. Right. Because obviously Yoda didn't think that Luke was going to, well, I, I shouldn't say obviously Luke Yoda probably knew that Luke was not gonna be able to raise the thing on his first try. This is true. Right. But he knew that he needed to actually.
Do it and attempt it. So maybe there's a difference between attempt and trying. Yeah. Right. And I think that that's where we're starting to get in into the nitty gritty. And so some of you might be listening to this right now and thinking to yourself, [00:07:00] well, that's just semantics. But semantics matters.
Word choice matters because what does that word. What feeling does that create within you? Like if you say, I'll try and you feel kind of a release of pressure, that could be a good thing. Sure. If you're someone that puts a lot of pressure on yourself and you've just got a lot going on right now, that release could be a really good thing.
But if you kind of do that and then you're like, You, you can feel a release of pressure. And it also, that release of pressure can also essentially be an excuse. Yes. So it's like what direction are you going with it?
[00:07:33] Kevin: Yeah. So I'm gonna try these two phrases and I'm gonna try to not go up higher on the one thing.
Okay. If I can just state it without changing my tone of voice and see if you can pick up the difference between the two statements. I'll try to get up tomorrow and work workout before I go to work, or I am doing a strength workout tomorrow. Like the second one. Sounds like there's a lot more commitment to it.
Yeah. You're going to do this thing as opposed to, you know, you'll try to get up tomorrow. Yeah. Obviously I did some tone on the second time through,
[00:07:59] Angie: but [00:08:00] I'll, I'll try to get up like, are you going to, or are you not gonna going
[00:08:03] Kevin: to Right. Just, just set the alarm and then when it goes off, get out of bed.
I'm
[00:08:06] Angie: getting up tomorrow. Right. Like I'm getting up tomorrow so that I can work out before work. I'm doing my strength workout, I'm going to the gym. Right. Versus I'll try to go to the gym. Mm-hmm. I'll try to fit it in. Those are just so that. If it doesn't happen, then you don't feel guilty, right? Mm-hmm.
Not, not that you have to feel guilty anyway, like sometimes life comes up and sometimes. Even our best laid intentions don't end up playing out.
[00:08:33] Kevin: That's true. I mean, just because you say you're going to do a thing mm-hmm. Does not mean it actually has to play out. Right. I'm doing this tomorrow, but if some emergency thing comes up.
Right. Something where, you know, you've set out your list of values and priorities and a thing higher on your priority list comes up. Even though you said, I'm going to work out tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Maybe you don't. Yeah. Like it, just because you say you're going to do a thing does not mean it's going to come up.
And that doesn't mean there has to be guilt to it. Mm-hmm. It, this goes back to whole, the [00:09:00] whole idea of setting your priorities.
[00:09:01] Angie: And it also doesn't show a lack of commitment if life comes up. Right. And I think that sometimes people think that if I don't do exactly what my plan says exactly on the day, That it says it, then that's showing lack of commitment.
And I actually had this conversation with one of my clients last week and, and she said, well, I'm just not a committed person. And I said, what, what makes you think that? Mm-hmm. You know? And she said, well, I was supposed to work out on Monday, but I couldn't get to the gym on Monday, so I had to move that workout to Tuesday.
And, and I was like, so to me that shows that you are committed. Yep. Because you still got the workout in. It wasn't on the same day, but you still got it in. You were committed enough to try to figure out how to rework your schedule so that you could get that workout in.
[00:09:46] Kevin: Right. I mean, that's the glory of the schedule is it allows you the flexibility to show your commitment.
Even though you didn't do it on Monday and Wednesday, things got shifted. Now it's on a Tuesday and a Thursday. Yeah. You have the commitment to the overall plan. Mm-hmm. And [00:10:00] that's what works. But. When, when you're going for a goal that you don't really think you can actually reach, mm-hmm. It becomes so much harder to get to the goal.
You know, like if you, if you're like, yeah. And that's I think where the whole I, I'll try to go back to the Star Wars scene and, and run the scene all the way to its completion. The idea was Luke thought Yoda wanted him to take his X wing out of the swamp water. And he goes, all right, I'll, I'll try. And he tries and it sinks deeper into the water.
Mm-hmm. And he's all sweaty. He is like, see, I, I, it's impossible. And Yoda. Then little teeny Yoda lifts it up and you know, flies it over to the side and then puts it down on, on dry land. And Luke goes, I don't believe it. It's impossible. And Yoda looks at me. He is like, that's why you failed. Mm-hmm. Because he didn't think it was possible at, right.
Oh, that's why he only said, I'll try. He didn't say I'll do it. Mm-hmm. He said, I'll try because he never
[00:10:52] Angie: believed. Right. And so when you say, I'll try, is that showing a lack of belief versus. [00:11:00] I'm going to do this or I'll do it and just. Be open about the timeline. Mm-hmm. Because I think this is one of the places we get stuck is thinking, okay, I, I'm going to do this thing, but in our heads we have this timeline on it.
Oh yeah. Right. And so then we say, well, I'll try to do it, or I'll try to get it in because. Again, we've chosen this arbitrary timeline, but if instead of choosing a timeline and saying, well, I'll just try, what if you let go of the timeline and said, I'm going to do this thing and allow it to take however long it's going to take, but that shows a different level of commitment.
Yeah. Right. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do whatever I need to do so that I achieve this goal or so that I get as close as I sure, as as close as I can to that goal, because in my head I believe that I can do it, but I'm willing to. Also believe that I might be wrong about the timeline.
[00:11:56] Kevin: Yes. Yeah. The, the willingness to be [00:12:00] right about the goal and wrong about the timeline does allow a little bit of wiggle room, but not the same wiggle room that like, eh, I'll give it a shot.
Yeah. Allows, you know, for, for certain individuals. Mm-hmm. Sometimes I'll give it a shot is really a quality thing. We'll talk about that in the back half the, of the podcast. Yeah. But no, you're right about the, the openness to changing the timeline. Yeah. Because then your commitment is not to the final result.
Your commitment can be to what are you doing today? The process to get towards
[00:12:26] Angie: that final step. Right? Yeah. You're, you're committed to the steps necessary to achieve the goal. Yeah. Even if you don't get there, yeah. You're committed to that process and when you fully commit to the process, you are most likely to achieve the outcome.
It doesn't guarantee the outcome. It doesn't guarantee that you're going to achieve that goal. Especially in running. There's so many times that we can be. Perfectly prepared, right? So well prepared. But you go out on race day and you just fall flat, or the weather is out of your control and it's super hot that [00:13:00] day.
Or for some reason the fueling that you're using messes up your stomach and you have to take multiple bathroom breaks on the course, and you don't end up hitting the goal time even though. You were trained for it, even though in other conditions you might have been able to achieve that thing. Yeah. I mean, you
[00:13:15] Kevin: put out a couple things that are beyond control.
Yeah. Maybe you had trained the, the food and for some reason didn't work on that day or the weather, like the raisins. But sometimes you ju you are perfectly prepared. Yeah. And you just go out and it just, it falls flat on that particular day. That day just doesn't work for you. Mm-hmm. If you've been running any amount of time, you know that sometimes you just had out on a day and you don't feel good and you can't figure out what the reasoning is behind it.
You're like, I don't have these extra stresses. I slept well, I'm eating fine. And it just doesn't feel good. Every once in a while if your race often enough that day is gonna match up with a race and there's just nothing you can do about it. Mm-hmm. So it just, sometimes it stinks
[00:13:53] Angie: and I think that that's one of the really hard things for us to accept is that some days, Just aren't good and [00:14:00] sometimes there's not a good reason for it.
Yeah. And that's really hard to accept for us, especially those of us that are more type A and that want to kind of point to something like this didn't go well, what can I point to so that I can cause, so that I can fix it. Mm-hmm. Right? So that next time I won't, that won't happen. Right. But. Even if you do everything right, sometimes you still don't get the outcome that you
[00:14:23] Kevin: want.
Yeah. I mean, people talk about, you know, you can learn more from losses than you can from wins. Mm-hmm. But every once in a while losses are losses because the day just stunk. Yeah. And you can't point to a thing. Most of the time there's a lesson to be learned from it. Mm-hmm. But sometimes you're just like, well that stunk and I need to move
[00:14:39] Angie: on.
Yeah. And it gets dangerous when we take that one day that. Maybe a complete outlier. Yeah. And make it mean that we're not in as good a shape, we're not as good of a runner as we think it is. We make it mean something other than, well, this was just a bad day. Yeah. Right. Like, and that's where the danger comes in.
And again, that's also where the power of our thoughts and the power [00:15:00] of our words come in. So we need to be very honest with ourselves about why we're using those words. So if you find yourself saying, I'll give it a try, or I'll do my best, or. You know, I'll try my best. Are you hoping for a miracle? Like are you saying like, I'll just go out there and do my best, and you're just like hoping that even though you, maybe you didn't, maybe you didn't prepare as well as you could have, maybe you haven't put in the work.
Mm-hmm. And you're just kind of hoping for a miracle that you just achieve this goal that you've been wanting to achieve? Or like, are you actually putting in the work and then you're. On race day, maybe you're someone that kind of gets freaked out by races. Sure. Maybe you have some race anxiety and you're like, I know I've put in the work and so I, I'm gonna go out there and, and try my best.
Maybe that is a very helpful phrase for you to use.
[00:15:50] Kevin: Yeah. I mean, I like, as when you get into the, the second part of it, I wanna really highlight how that can be incredibly helpful. Yeah. But sometimes the whole I'll, I'll try my [00:16:00] best. We've had people on the, on our cross-country team before Yeah. Who have used this phrase, and I've seen what they've put in day after day at practice and they go out and they're like, coach, I'm gonna try my best today because it's race day.
Mm-hmm. There's a number on their chest. Right. But is trying your best to only reserve for race days. Ooh. And not at all involved in any of the days, weeks and months leading up to race stick. Right. Like, are you actually. Trying your best for the months leading up to it. Mm-hmm. Or are you kind of putting in some work and then showing up on race day and you're fully committed for that small time window of the race
[00:16:34] Angie: itself.
Yeah. And you're like, well, I don't understand why I didn't perform better. I gave it my best. I gave it everything
[00:16:39] Kevin: I possibly had. And maybe that's
[00:16:40] Angie: true for that day. Yeah. Maybe on race day you gave it everything that you had, but in the months leading up to it, Did you give it your all in the preparation?
Because that's where the runner is made, that's where the prs are made or the goals are achieved. It's in the process of [00:17:00] actually leading up to that final test, will you say? Yeah. You know, like we, we know plenty of people on our cross country team. We've been doing this for a lot of years. The ones that put in the work over the summer and get the miles in, It pays off at the end of the season.
Like it pays off because they have the base built and then there are those that don't train during the summer, and some of them that even like go off and party and are living a life that is not conducive to athletic performance. Mm-hmm. At all. Right. And then they come in. And then they're committed once the season starts.
Right? Right. But they've already declined so much over the summer because they've been not working out at all. And also doing things that are not conducive to their body performing well. Right. It's
[00:17:48] Kevin: not just that they're picking up from where they left off at the end of last season. They're picking up below where they left off.
Yeah. And so perhaps substantially below. And so they
[00:17:55] Angie: show up and then they commit. Right. And they're like, okay, well I'm gonna be committed. And so then [00:18:00] they, they do. Try hard. Yeah. During the season, but by that point it's already
[00:18:04] Kevin: too late. Yeah. This season's a couple months long. Right. And if you ignore the three months before the season Sure.
When we see them at practice, they seem super committed. Yeah. But what did they do over the summer where we weren't there day in and day out? Right.
[00:18:16] Angie: Because. Progress is compounding and we try to explain this to our athletes every single year. And there are those that listen to us and that do their training and they, you know, they train during the summer, they train during other seasons, and they get better year after year after year.
And then we have the same athletes. Not the same athletes. We have other athletes that come in and they have a great season their freshman year and then they don't really train and then they don't do their summer training. They come back sophomore year kind of at the same place and they don't make much progress.
And they're like, coach, I don't understand it. Why am I not
[00:18:50] Kevin: getting better? You did. You made the exact same progress from start to end of the season that you made freshman year, cuz you showed up as the same person at the start, so you were able to make it to the same place by the end and then
[00:18:59] Angie: [00:19:00] you didn't do anything for nine months.
Yep. Like you can't expect your progress to be compounding if you just don't train for six to nine months out of the
[00:19:08] Kevin: year. And as a math teacher, I try to show them exponential curve graphs and teach the fundamentals of math to them. But for some reason, reason, that's reason, I dunno, their eyes just glaze over.
It's defies me. I don't know. You're like, what are
[00:19:20] Angie: you talking about? Right. So, You know, we want you to just start to really be beyond to yourself. If you find yourself thinking these things or using these phrases of, I'll give it a try, or I'll do my best. Ask yourself, you know, is this a good thing? Like, am I trying to take some pressure off myself and that's actually a positive?
Or am I just trying to give myself an easy out and reinforce this lack of
[00:19:44] Kevin: commitment? Yeah, a hundred percent. Uh, I mean, I. I have a metaphor, but it's really, it's, it's so obvious and direct. Like as a classroom teacher, I get students that constantly prepare. Ms. Brown, I tried so hard on the test and I just didn't get the results.
I'm like, well, What did you do to [00:20:00] prepare? They're like, I studied for three hours last night. Right. I'm like, great, but we've been on this topic for the last two weeks. Mm-hmm. What have you been doing in class? Yeah. And they're like, well, you know, I mean, there were those three movies I watched on my phone like, well, okay, so there's the issue.
Yeah,
[00:20:12] Angie: exactly. And so you can't just put in your best on race day, right. And expect to get the results that you want. You have to be doing the work, not just trying to do the work, but actually doing the work throughout the training cycle if you want to get the results that you're hoping for.
[00:20:28] Kevin: All right.
From the other perspective, I'll try my best, can be a great signal of this really dedicated firm resolve to both the the long-term goal and the process of getting there. Sometimes that's exactly what people mean. Like they say, I'll try my best and they mean day in, day out. I'm giving it my best until I reach this goal or as close as I can possibly get to it.
Mm-hmm. Which is great. Yeah. There. There is a negative that sometimes comes to this if you personally connect the outcome to your own self-worth. Mm-hmm. [00:21:00] Then if you don't reach the goal, you can be a little disappointed and kind of disappointed in yourself as a person because you tried your best and yet you still weren't able to get there.
So it's that whole, like how connected are you to the goal? Yeah.
[00:21:15] Angie: But a, again, that kind of goes back to the goal versus the process. Yes. Right. Can you be connected to the goal, because it is important to have a connection to a goal, but you can't base the success of your training cycle on whether or not you achieve or do not achieve the goal on that given day.
Yeah. Right. Like, what people don't understand is that there's a lot of progress being made that you're not able to see right away. Like, you know, I think about our kids because. They're growing up so fast and there are times like we don't see the growth that they're making day to day, you know? Mm-hmm.
Hour to hour, hour to hour, day to day, week to week. It's not like I look at them and like see them growing like, but then you look at where they are now and [00:22:00] you look back six months, you look back two years, and you're like, Holy moly. How'd you get so big? You know, like, and you, you see even just six months, like, you know, there's a lot of like the first day, last day school pictures.
Oh yeah. And, and you look back and you're like, oh my gosh. Their, their face shape is completely different. That's what you
[00:22:16] Kevin: looked at the start of this school year, right? I swear that was what you looked like. Three years ago, but I know time moves quickly. Time,
[00:22:22] Angie: time moves quickly and we don't see it in the, in the moment.
Yeah. And so I think that's hard for a lot of us as runners because we want to see the progress that we're making, but so much of the progress that we're making happens underneath the surface. Mm-hmm. And, and, and you might not see kind of the payoff for a while.
[00:22:39] Kevin: Yeah, that's true. So if, if you've got this sort of, I'll try my best.
Mm-hmm. And that is a sign that you're really going for it. If you accept that the big goal is not really ever fully guaranteed, then giving it a shot, trying your best is the only choice that we possibly have. Like how are you gonna get to the [00:23:00] goal if you don't give it a shot? Like it kind of goes into the semantics of, I'm gonna do the steps.
Mm-hmm. Trying and giving it a shot might be just enough of a. Of a break from, I have to get this goal. I'm getting this goal. It might be just enough that allows you to go into that curiosity. Mm-hmm. That pulls you out of your comfort zone and getting outta your comfort zone, whatever phrase you need that helps pull you out of the comfort zone and start doing the steps to get towards the goal.
I think that's a win. If you're not using, I'll give it a try as an excuse maker, but you're giving it to say, yep, I'm gonna give it a try and see how this goes. Mm-hmm. Because that's enough to take the pressure off of you and allow you to actually start.
[00:23:42] Angie: That's interesting. Like do you feel like you have kind of.
Said this to yourself before, and use this in different
[00:23:49] Kevin: ways. I use this phrase, uh, the closer I get to a race. Okay. You know, I think that you could use it at the very start of a training cycle to get yourself going. Mm-hmm. But I [00:24:00] also think that it's really good closer to the, the race we get to when people, when I've gotten close to races and people are like, are you gonna win the thing?
My response is usually, I mean, I'll give it a shot. Yeah. Because, I have no control over what I, who else is gonna show up? That's, so
[00:24:15] Angie: that's what I got. So maybe it's, so maybe it's a helpful phrase when there are things out of your control.
[00:24:19] Kevin: Yes. I think it's a good one of, you know, I will try my best. Mm-hmm.
But I'll do
[00:24:27] Angie: what I can. Yes. Yeah. I'll do my best. So that, that's, so that's going back to our semantics. I'll try my best versus I'll do my best. Yes. Do you see a difference? Yeah. I mean,
[00:24:37] Kevin: I. The, when I'm right up, up against the start of a race as I'm heading to the, the, the starting line. Mm-hmm. I use those phrases interchangeably.
Yeah. I'm gonna go do my best. I'm gonna, but in your
[00:24:50] Angie: head,
[00:24:51] Kevin: they feel the same In my head. They feel the same when I'm using
[00:24:54] Angie: them. Yeah. And that, and that's what matters I think. Right. Exactly. It, it's the, it's the feeling that you get. So if you say, I'll try my best or [00:25:00] I'll do my best, and to, to you. That's what.
Like, what's the feeling when you say something like that? To me,
[00:25:05] Kevin: that's empowering.
[00:25:06] Angie: Empowering, yeah. So that's a really good feeling to have. Yeah. That's going to lead you to the actions that you need to take in order to get the results or possibly get the results, have the best chance at getting the
[00:25:16] Kevin: results that you want.
That's the thing is you just want the best chance at getting the results. Yeah. When the goal is so big, all you really want is the best chance of possibly achieving it, because the goal might be so big. That you can't get it. Mm-hmm. So you want to have the best mind frame to say, I want to be in the best possible position to get it.
I've put in the work, I've put in the training, and now it's time to do the thing. Right now, the thing right in front of me to give it a shot, to reach the goal, I'm gonna do my best. Yeah.
[00:25:45] Angie: And if you, if you saying I'm gonna do my best and you feel empowered. Mm-hmm. That's a very beneficial thought. Super beneficial.
Right. But if other people are like, I'm going to, I'm gonna try. Or I'll try my best and they kind of feel like they're letting themselves [00:26:00] off the hook. Yeah. Then maybe that's not the best phrase for them to use. I
[00:26:03] Kevin: mean, if you head to the starting line of race and you say, I'm, I'm gonna try my best.
Knowing fully well that at, at the two-thirds point, at the halfway point mm-hmm. That it's gonna start getting really hard and really painful. And trying your best is like, well, I put myself here, but now it's really painful and I'm gonna end up having to slow down. Mm-hmm. But is that your best? I tried my best.
Is that your best though? I see. I don't think it is. Right. But if you go into it with, I'll try my best, and in your head that's already giving you an out. Then when it gets difficult, you can be like, well, I tried my best. Yeah. Well, I also
[00:26:38] Angie: think that it's different when you use this phrase, During a race mm-hmm.
Or right before a race versus in your training. Yes. In your training leading up to a race or just in your training for whatever, what, whatever goal it is that you're trying to achieve right now. Course. Right. So, um, there are some times that I'll, I'll ask athletes. I'm like, how many times can you can commit to working out per week?
[00:27:00] Like, how many days per week can you commit to? And they're like, well, I'm not quite sure. And I was like, can you do four? And they're like, well, I'll try. And I'm like, no, no. What can you commit to? How many can you commit to? And I think that's where it becomes different. It's not, oh, I'll try to get in four days.
Right? It's like I'm, this is my training plan. I'm gonna do my, this training plan to the best of my ability. Of course, sometimes things are gonna come up, but are you actually committing to the plan that's going to give you the best chance of achieving the results
[00:27:28] Kevin: that you want? Right? Because if you set up a plan, I mean, this is.
The benefit of having a plan that works for you. Yeah. If you're committed to a plan and you say, yes, I can do four days. Mm-hmm. Then you need a plan that's working with four days. Yep. If you can do four days, don't make a plan that has six. Mm-hmm. And say, well, I'll give it a try for six. Yeah. But I might fall back on four.
That's just, that's setting yourself up for failure. You're gonna feel like you're, you're incomplete and ill-prepared when you get to the end of the plan. Make a plan that makes sense for you for what you are. Mm-hmm. Fully able and committed to do. Yeah.
And
[00:27:59] Angie: if [00:28:00] you feel like that plan is really, really stretching you way outside your comfort zone, that might might be too much for you right now.
Yeah. Like if you're someone that is currently running three days a week and you start talking to someone or, or looking up plans online or in your app and you're like, I wanna train for a marathon, and it's like a six day a week marathon plan, you're like, ah, I don't know if I can do that. That's too big of a jump.
Yeah. You know? So, but if you're like, okay, yeah, like. I can get on board with that. Like I can adjust my schedule, I can, you know, make some sacrifices in other areas. I can make this work. That's a different level of commitment that you're bringing to
[00:28:35] Kevin: it. Yeah, and I mean that's, that's really what it is, is it's able to take it from, I'll give it a shot.
Mm-hmm. But I might not be able to do it, versus this is what I can do, this is what I can be fully
[00:28:47] Angie: committed to. Yeah. I heard a phrase, um, the other day on a podcast that I was listening to, and I wrote it over here on my whiteboard and the phrase was, I don't do my best. I do what is required.
[00:28:59] Kevin: Right. And [00:29:00] you wrote that down and then we had a little discussion over this.
Yeah. Cuz I interpreted
[00:29:03] Angie: different behavior. Well, cause my daughter and, and one of our, our daughters like asked me about it. Yeah. She's like, mom, what does that mean? Yep. So how did you interpret that? So
[00:29:11] Kevin: I had just heard a similar phrase, Uhhuh from the guy who just won Western states. Mm-hmm. So it's not, it's actually not at all that phrase, but it's close enough that that's how I interpret
[00:29:22] Angie: it.
And these are the discussions that we have, you guys, while we're preparing dinner. Yes. Or
[00:29:27] Kevin: washing dishes. It's awkward dinner conversations. It's not, but
[00:29:31] Angie: I love our, it's not usually d, I mean sometimes it's during dinner, but a lot of times it's just like Kevin and I, you know, cleaning up or. Prep, prepping food in the kitchen and it just like, Hey, I listened to this podcast today and it said this thing.
What do you think
[00:29:42] Kevin: about that? Right. Yeah. These, these are the discussions. Yeah. So, um, the guy who just won Western States was talking about his training going into it and. His phrase, and I, I don't remember the exact way, but he said that his prepara in preparation for the race, he did what was, what was needed.
He did exactly what was [00:30:00] necessary to meet the demands of the race. But nothing beyond, like, his focus was not to do as much as he possibly could. Mm-hmm. His focus was to do as little as was necessary. Yeah.
[00:30:11] Angie: And that's a really good way of looking at things, right? Yeah. Of like, I didn't do as much as I could.
I did the least amount necessary to achieve the outcome that I wanted. And
[00:30:20] Kevin: the outcome he wanted was winning the race. Right. One of the like most challenging races with one of the deepest fields, that was the goal. Mm-hmm. So it's not like he slacked off in preparation for it. But there were workouts, you know, day in, day out on a certain workout.
Maybe he could have pushed harder, but he knew the long term goal was, I don't need to push harder today. Mm-hmm. I need to push hard enough so that my plan is sustainable over a long
[00:30:43] Angie: term. Exactly. Because there are oftentimes that we can do more. Yeah. But doing more is not gonna benefit us. Right. Right.
And I think that that's one of the traps that a lot of runners fall into. Kind of on a side note, is. This trap of like, more is better. Mm-hmm. And if I do more, I'll get better results. And that is not [00:31:00] true, right? Like it is not true that more is always better. More is sometimes better, right? Depending on what you're doing.
More is sometimes better. But if you're doing more for the, just for the sake of doing more, there might not be any benefit and it might actually be detrimental to your success and actually move you in the opposite direction of the goal you want to achieve. Yeah. There's,
[00:31:21] Kevin: there's a Venn diagram involved in this somewhere of more and better and overlap, but there's, there's the third circle of Yeah.
More and better and worse. Mm-hmm. And. The, the circle that's better and the circle that's worse, both include areas of more. Mm-hmm.
[00:31:35] Angie: And so when I heard this phrase of I don't do my best, I do what is required, it made me like I liked it. Right? Mm-hmm. And that's obviously why I wrote it over here on my whiteboard.
Cause I kind of wanted to, to kind of think on it and meditate on it a little bit more. And the, the idea here is my best might not be good enough. Yep. Right. So my, my best and. You'll also hear us say Your best is always good enough. Right. And [00:32:00] okay. Right. Your best is good enough on that given day. Mm-hmm.
Because that's all you have. Yep. But sometimes our best is not good enough in order to gain the result or the outcome that we're striving for. Yep. Right. Like there are times that our best just. Isn't good enough. We already talked about that earlier in the episode. Sometimes it just doesn't go our way.
We gave it our best. We did everything we could and we just come up short. Yeah, we fall short. Right. So instead of thinking about doing your best, I think that it is important for us to do our best, of course, but then also realize that when our best falls short, what do we need to do in order to get us closer to that outcome?
We have to do what is required for that outcome. Mm-hmm. And what. In our best and what is required might not always be
[00:32:46] Kevin: the same thing. Yeah. You have sometimes what we establish is, well, that's, that's the best I can possibly do today. What, what if you need more? Yeah. My first thought when you go to this one is, [00:33:00] um, the, the movie obviously Real Life Events, Apollo 11.
Yeah. Like they needed to figure out a way. I, I remember the scene where they take all the parts that, that are usable things on the ship. Yeah. And they dump them on the table and they're like, you need to figure out how to make, basically it was like a square peg into a round hole. Mm-hmm. That was the process.
Here's what you can use and it has to happen. And this is the time window that you have to work with. Yeah. And you're like, well, that's impossible. Mm-hmm. No, impossible is not an option here. Yeah. And like this, what has for those people die. Yeah. This is actually what has to happen. Yeah. And it's like sleep no longer matters.
Yeah. This is, this is the goal. This is not about your best. This is the result that needs to take place. Yeah. Go
[00:33:41] Angie: figure it out. Yeah. And they made it work. Yeah. Right. But I think that it's very, it's, it's very good for us to also be honest with ourselves. And say sometimes my best isn't good enough and I need to do more work.
I need to work on some of my weak areas so that I do have what is [00:34:00] required. Mm-hmm. So that the next time I attempt this goal, I'm more able, or I'm gonna have a better chance at achieving that thing. Right. And that goes back to
[00:34:08] Kevin: your timeline set up. Yeah. Is, that's what I was just gonna say. My best wasn't good enough today.
Today. Yep. But my best can be good enough in the future when
[00:34:15] Angie: I. Develop more skills. When I get stronger, when I put in more work, my best is now, now going to improve. Mm-hmm. So as our baseline increases, as our baseline improves, then when we try again, our best might be what's required. Right. And give us that chance of the, the outcome that we want.
[00:34:34] Kevin: Right. You, you've raised your best. Mm-hmm. Because your best isn't fixed. Right. Like that's, that's the thing is if you talk about your best on a given day mm-hmm. I did my best that I had given the tools that I brought to the table today. Yeah. That was my best. Okay, great. Mm-hmm. But if your best didn't reach the goal, and you still wanna pursue the goal, you need to keep.
Well, you need to keep trying. Yeah. Well, and I, or doing, depending on your perspective. Depending on [00:35:00] your perspective.
[00:35:00] Angie: But I, and I think that that's where it can be beneficial, right. Because if we say that we're trying for a goal in a way, it can give us a little space. Mm-hmm. Like between us and the goal.
Yeah. And that can be beneficial for a lot of people because if we are someone that in the past maybe has attached our. Our, um, self-worth to the outcome mm-hmm. Or our complete identity to that outcome. Yep. And we don't get the outcome it can be crushing.
[00:35:28] Kevin: Yeah. Then we start spiraling. Right. That's an awful
[00:35:30] Angie: outcome.
Right. So if we can put a little bit of a space between ourselves and the goal, and you're like, okay, this is where I am and I'm gonna try my best and. You know, whatever happens, happens. Mm-hmm. Right? That's another one. That's like one of those like iffy ones of whatever happens, happens, happens. Right?
I'll give it a trial. Whatever happens, happens. Like that can be an easy out. Or it can be a really healthy way for you to look at
[00:35:55] Kevin: a goal. Yeah. I, I, I'm not a big fan of that one, but I'm sure that people can [00:36:00] use it in a very healthy manner. The same way of, I'll give it a shot. Yeah. To me, um, that's, it's all just words.
It's all just phrasing. It's how you've used those words before. All, whatever happens, happens. I've used as an excuse maker before. Yeah. So to me that's a weak statement. Yeah. But I'll give it a shot. Has something empowering to it. Right. Because I've used it in an empowering way. Mm-hmm. But other people could have literally flipped those exact same phrases Yep.
And used them the opposite way. Yeah,
[00:36:26] Angie: exactly. And so, That's our goal of this episode was just to bring some awareness, uh, to you of how you might be using the phrase, you know, I'll give it a try. I'll give it a shot. Whatever happens, happens. I'll do my best. I'll try my best. I'll, you know, I. How are you using these phrases and in what context?
In your training, you know, are you giving yourself kind of an out on your weekly runs where you're like, oh, I'll try to get up in the morning, right? Versus, I'm gonna go out there pro, do everything I can, and then show up on race [00:37:00] day and give my best or try my best, right? Mm-hmm. There's different ways that we can use it.
So how are you using these phrases or some variation of the phrase? And I would love to know. You know, as you kind of do some self-reflection on this, reach out to me on Instagram at Real Life Runners, or, oh, actually I'm on Threads now too. Ooh, thread it up. Threads, um, threads is a new app for those of you that might not be familiar.
Um, it's basically Instagram's version of Twitter, so, um, I feel like Threads is just kind of like, A more friendly place for, for some people like you, you're seeing it's an interesting place to be right now. Cause it's brand new. It's like the first week of it. Yeah. And you never lived in Twitter, so I've never lived in Twitter.
Yeah, because I, it was just like too much to like build a following on another platform. But threads is nice because like if you are already following us on Instagram and you. Come over and, and have an account on threads. You can click a button that you can just automatically follow everyone that you're following on Instagram, which is really nice.
Um, but anyway, Instagram threads, um, reach out and let [00:38:00] me know. Is there another phrase that you use that. Kind of lets you off the hook, or that also helps you in some way that kind of takes some of the pressure
[00:38:09] Kevin: off of you. Yes. Do you have a pressure release valve? Yeah. That isn't, I'll give it a shot.
Yeah,
[00:38:13] Angie: exactly. All right, you guys, thank you so much for joining us. If you like this episode, please feel free to share it with a friend, and if you haven't yet, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts so that we can reach more runners and help spread the love because we show up here every week and try to give you guys content that's going to help you.
Turn into the physically and mentally stronger runner that you want to be. And we just wanna help more people. And when you leave us a review that's like a little thank you note to us, um, letting us know that you appreciate and value the content that we provide you every week and want to help others find it too.
[00:38:48] Kevin: At least that's the content we try to provide. Yes.
[00:38:52] Angie: Do or do not, Kevin. Thank you. There we go. All right, you guys. This has been the Real Life Runners podcast, episode number [00:39:00] 316. Now, get out there and run your life.
