475: When Your Identity Gets Stripped Away with Heather Lacy

You Are More Than a Runner: What Happens When Running Becomes Your Identity

Have you ever had a season where running was going really well, and suddenly it felt like everything was about running?

The next PR. The next race. Getting your mileage back up. Being known as "the runner" in your family or friend group. 

There’s nothing wrong with loving running or being proud of what you accomplish, but sometimes we don't realize how much of our identity has become tied to what our bodies can do until something changes.

An injury, a slower race, a busy season of life, or even a career change can suddenly leave us asking, "Who am I if I can't do this anymore?"

That question is at the heart of Heather Lacy's story, and it's one I think many runners can relate to, especially as they transition through mid-life.

When Running Becomes More Than Running

Heather spent 20 years as a healthcare executive. Her career was a huge part of her identity, so when she was laid off, she didn't just lose a job. She lost a title and a role that had helped define who she was.

Running entered her life during that transition. What started casually became something much bigger. Running gave her structure, community, a way to process what she was feeling, and eventually a new sense of purpose.

But Heather eventually recognized something interesting. She had taken the same achievement-driven mindset she had used in her career and brought it into running. Instead of chasing the next career accomplishment, she was chasing the next PR.

And this is something I see often with runners. We find something we love, and then we start measuring ourselves through it. We aren't just running anymore. We are trying to prove something through our running.

The problem isn't having goals. Goals are great. The problem is when our pace, mileage, race results, or ability to train become the way we determine whether we're successful or worthy.

Your Pace Doesn't Determine Your Place

Heather also experienced this when she became a running coach. She questioned whether she was credible enough because she wasn't necessarily faster or more experienced than the people she coached.

But being a great coach isn't about being the fastest person in the room.

The same is true for being a runner. You don't need a certain pace, mileage, race distance, or finishing time to earn the right to call yourself a runner. You don't have to continually improve to prove that you belong.

Your performance is information. It can help you understand your training and measure progress, but it doesn't tell you who you are.

That's an important distinction, especially as we get older and our bodies inevitably change. Your pace may change. Your recovery may change. Your goals may change. You may have seasons where you can't train the way you used to.

That doesn't mean you've lost yourself.

It means you're learning how to let your identity evolve with your life.

Sometimes the Goal Has to Change

One of the most powerful parts of Heather's story came during a very difficult season with her son, Luke, who was dealing with severe scoliosis and surgeries during COVID.

Running became an important outlet for Heather during months of stress, uncertainty, and hospital stays. It gave her something that belonged to her and helped her take care of herself while she was also caring for her son.

Eventually, her perspective on racing changed too.

She realized that a race didn't always have to be about getting a PR. Sometimes the goal could simply be to finish. Sometimes running could be about taking care of your mental health. Sometimes the win is getting outside and coming home feeling a little more like yourself.

This is something we all need permission to do.

Not every race has to prove something. Not every training cycle has to result in a personal best. And not every run needs to move your fitness forward.

Sometimes running is valuable simply because of how it helps you live the rest of your life.

Give Yourself Room to Become Someone New

Heather's story also reminds us that change doesn't have to mean starting over.

When she moved from healthcare executive to runner, then running coach and author, she didn't suddenly become an entirely different person. The qualities that made her successful before were still there. Her curiosity, leadership, desire to help people, and willingness to work hard simply found new places to show up.

We can do the same thing.

Maybe you aren't the runner you were five years ago. Maybe you can't run the mileage you used to. Maybe you're recovering from an injury or realizing that chasing PRs isn't as important to you anymore.

You don't have to mourn the old version of yourself forever.

You can appreciate what that version of you accomplished while making room for what's next.

And even better…you don't have to figure it all out immediately. Give yourself time to try something new before deciding whether it fits. Being uncomfortable at the beginning doesn't automatically mean you've made the wrong choice.

Who Are You Besides a Runner?

Here's a simple exercise I'd encourage you to try this week.

Write down ten answers to the sentence:

"I am..."

Don't just list your roles. Go beyond "I am a runner" or "I am a mom." Think about your values, interests, strengths, relationships, and the qualities that make you who you are.

Maybe you're curious. Maybe you're compassionate. Maybe you love learning. Maybe you're a problem solver. Maybe you're adventurous, creative, resilient, or someone who loves helping others.

Those parts of you don't disappear when your pace changes.

Your running can be an important part of your identity without being your entire identity.

And honestly, I think that's one of the healthiest ways we can approach running for the long term.

We want running to add to our lives, not become the thing our entire lives have to revolve around.

So this week, don't worry about reinventing yourself. Just ask yourself one question:

Who am I besides a runner?

Then give one of those other parts of yourself a little more attention.

Because sustainable running isn't just about building a body that can keep running for years. It's also about building a life that has enough room for everything that makes you, you.

And sometimes that means allowing yourself to grow into a version of yourself you haven't met yet.