477: Becoming

You’re Always Becoming: How to Become the Runner You Want to Be

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’m just not that kind of runner”?

Maybe you’ve always been a 5K runner, so a half marathon feels out of reach. Maybe you’ve had injuries that make you question what your body can handle. Or maybe you’ve simply decided, based on years of experience, that you’re not fast, strong, consistent, or athletic enough.

I get it. For a long time, I ran, but I never called myself a runner. If I’m being truly honest, I still have some limiting beliefs about what “kind” of runner I am or what I could really do. 

So what I’m about to tell you I know in my bones to be true (because of how far I’ve already come and how I have helped other people transform), AND I’m still working on it too.

Your identity is not fixed, and your past can give you information without deciding your future.

We are all becoming someone every day. The question is whether we’re intentionally choosing that direction or letting our circumstances, past experiences, and old identities make the decisions for us.

The DECISION comes first

You don’t have to already feel like a marathoner before deciding to become one. You don’t have to feel strong before deciding that you’re becoming a stronger runner. You don’t have to have years of trail experience before deciding you want to become a trail runner.

I actually love the phrase “I’m becoming” because it leaves room for growth.

Let’s say you want to become someone that you currently don’t feel that you are. Instead of trying to convince your brain that you are already that thing, say that you are becoming that thing. 

So instead of, “I’m not a trail runner,” to “I’m a trail runner,” try, “I’m becoming a trail runner.”

Instead of trying to trick your brain with “I’m strong,” when you don’t feel strong yet, try, “I’m becoming stronger.”

The decision comes first then the actions you take become evidence.

Every strength session, every long run you fuel properly, every time you prioritize recovery, you’re reinforcing the identity you’ve chosen.

Borrow Belief When You Need It

I’ve had plenty of runners ask me, “Do you think I can really do this?”

Sometimes you need someone else to believe in you before you can fully believe in yourself. I’m happy to provide that borrowed belief, and I tell that to my clients all of the time.

If you have a genuine desire to do something, I truly believe you are capable of doing it.

While it’s great to have someone else believe in you, eventually you have to make that belief your own.

You do that through action.

You don’t build confidence by sitting around waiting to feel confident. You build it by taking small actions that show you what you’re capable of and reinforce your chosen identity. 

And while it starts with a decision, becoming is a verb. It requires action, not just one decision.

Those actions also need the proper timeline. Trying to rush things often leads to injury or burnout. Most goals are achievable with the right timeline.

You might not be ready to run a marathon in three months. That doesn’t mean you can’t become a marathoner.

You might need six months. A year. Maybe longer.

Kevin experienced this when he moved from marathon running toward 100-mile ultramarathons. He quickly realized that becoming an ultrarunner required more than simply adding miles. It required more time, fueling, hydration, recovery, and changes to other parts of his life.

The goal needed a runway.

So when you’re thinking about a big goal, don’t only ask, “Can I do this?”

Ask:

“How much time do I need to become the person who can do this?”

That question can completely change the conversation.

As you decide who you are becoming, align your actions, and work out your timeline, also remember that life is going to disrupt your plans.

Travel happens. Kids need you. Work runs late. You sleep poorly. The weather changes.

Intentional training doesn’t mean controlling every variable. It means you make the decision ahead of time and then adjust when necessary.

I like to think of it as holding the pen.

If you say, “I’ll just see what I can fit in,” you’re allowing circumstances to write the story.

Instead, decide what matters first.

Maybe you’re traveling and want to run four times that week. Plan for four runs, then adjust the days if necessary. If you only get three, that doesn’t mean you failed. You simply adapted.

Adjusting the plan is not the same thing as abandoning the path.

Becoming Someone New May Require Different Choices

Sometimes becoming the person you want to be means changing how you spend your time.

Kevin’s decision to pursue ultramarathons meant stepping away from coaching track for a season. That wasn’t easy because coaching had been an important part of his identity for years.

I’ve experienced this in my own life through motherhood, business ownership, and my own running goals.

Our priorities change as our lives change.

And that’s okay.

You may not be able to do everything at once. But you can decide what matters most in this particular season and make intentional choices around it.

You also have to be prepared for the fact that not everyone will understand your new direction. When you’re trying something different, your new identity can feel fragile. You don’t necessarily need everyone’s opinion while you’re still figuring it out.

Protect the goal long enough to see what it can become.

This is the question I want you to take with you:

Who are you becoming?

Not who you were five years ago.

Not who you think you should be.

Not who someone else expects you to be.

Who do you want to become now?

Maybe you’re becoming a stronger runner.

Maybe you’re becoming someone who prioritizes recovery.

Maybe you’re becoming a marathoner.

Maybe you’re becoming someone who runs for health and joy instead of constantly chasing pace.

Once you choose the identity, ask:

What would that person do this week?

Then do one small thing that gives you evidence.

You don’t need to change everything. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to choose your direction and keep taking the next step.

Because you are becoming someone every day.

Make sure you’re choosing who that someone is.